My Trip To The Future
My Trip To The Future
By - Chris Crowder May 17, 2007
I just got back from a trip to the future. Let me tell you, it was an interesting and eye-opening experience. Yesterday morning, I was sitting in my yard watching the clouds go by when an antique Volkswagen bus pulled into my driveway. The bus was lime green and painted up with pretty daisies. On the wheels were yellow smiley-face, moon-style hub caps. The license plate on the front read "FURTHER," and "Magic Bus" was painted on the front bumper. After the bus stopped a fella with long wavy waist-length hair emerged from it. He was wearing mirrored sunglasses, a thin white grungy t-shirt, brown bell bottom corduroy pants, and flip flops. I stood up as he walked over to where I was standing.
With a genuine smile he said, "Hello my friend," and offered his hand.
Naturally, I was suspicious of the fella. It wasn't every day I saw a man dressed like that. Hell, I couldn't remember when the last time was that I saw a Volkswagen bus. I had a gut feeling this dude wasn't a door-to-door salesman. Without offering my hand in return, I replied, "What do you want?"
The fella put down his hand, sighed and said, "I'm looking for some parts, man. Vacuum tubes. I need two 12AX7's and a 6V6. Some cat in town told me you had a collection of old electrical junk. Can you help me out, man?"
The fella's request for the vacuum tubes befuddled me. Not more than two days before I had salvaged some tubes from an old Voice Of Music reel-to-reel tape recorder. I was certain that I had pulled three 12XA7's from the recorder but I wasn't sure of the 6V6. "I might have the tubes you are looking for. What you need them for?" I asked curiously.
"I need the tubes to complete my trip. By the way, I'm Dave Brown," he said and again offered his hand.
That time I shook his hand and said, "I'm Devon Stought. So, where are you going?"
"2169."
"Okay... where is that?"
"A long way from here, I'm afraid. I really need those tubes, man. I have a very important message to deliver. People's futures depend on it."
I found the conversation awkward, as I had no clue as to what Dave was talking about. I wondered if he even knew what he was talking about. I was starting to think that Dave was perhaps a bit off in the head or maybe even stoned out of his mind. "So... Dave... where are you from?"
"1966," Dave declared. "My van started acting up in 2003. My velocity booster amp croaked in 2006 and I coasted into 2007. It just hasn't been my day, man."
"Is this a joke?"
"Look, man, I know how far out this must sound to you. I'll get straight to the point...I need those tubes to fix my bus and get to the year 2169."
"Are you trying to tell me that Volkswagen can outrun time?"
Dave looked over at his bus admiringly. "When working properly, my bus can sling the hands off a Rolex."
"I don't believe you. What does it run on? Wait! Let me guess... marijuana? Acid? Perhaps heroin?"
Dave licked his lips and grinned, "Angel Dust."
"Ahhh...PCP?" That had to be it--Davie boy was tripping on PCP.
"Actually, man, it runs on regular leaded gasoline."
I was still suspicious of Dave, but decided to humor him moreso for my own entertainment than for his illogical trip. I told him to wait while I went to see if I had the vacuum tubes he was looking for.
I did, indeed, have the tubes. Which sort of gave me the creeps, knowing how recently I had just acquired them. I took the tubes to Dave. He thanked me and told me that I was "out of sight." Dave removed an orange metal box from under the dash of his Volkswagen bus and removed the cover with a wood-handled screwdriver from his glove box. He asked to borrow a soldering iron. I fetched my Weller iron and a drop cord. While Dave was going through a five gallon bucket half-full of old electrical parts, I studied the orange box filled with vacuum tubes, wires, and other old components. There was nothing in the box that stood out as unusual enough to make the bus defy time. "So how does it work?" I asked.
"I can't tell you that, my friend," Dave said as he started working on the box. "That knowledge in the wrong hands would be disastrous."
"You know...they make transistors now. They even made them way back in 1966. Have you considered upgrading those old tubes to something more modern?"
"I tried to, man. For some reason semiconductors don't survive the trip. They don't last but a few seconds. Then poof! Up in smoke. You wanna beer?"
"What you got?"
"There's some Budweisers in the cooler in the back of the bus. Bring me one, too."
I located the cooler--which was metal--and pulled out two ice-cold brews. I handed one to Dave and noticed something peculiar when I went to open mine. "Pull tab? Dude. How long you had these beers?"
"I just bought them this morning at the convenience store."
For a moment I wondered what were the odds of this man having a full cooler of pristine condition unopened pull tab Budweiser beers. Maybe he did come from 1966? No way! Impossible. Dave put the cover back on the orange box and mounted it back under the dash of the bus.
"There. She's as good as new."
"Well, let's see what she'll do," I demanded.
"Not now. Say, would you mind if I crashed overnight in my bus in your driveway? I'll head out first thing in the morning. It's been really a long day, man."
"I don't know about that. I don't know you that well."
"I'm harmless, my friend. I'm out to save the world, not destroy it like those fascist pigs. You want to hear about the device that fucked the good citizens of the United States? Have another beer."
"Well, okay... this I gotta hear."
I invited Dave into the house, where it was more comfortable. We lugged his beer cooler inside and we sat at my kitchen table.
"Where are you from, really? And don't say 1966."
"I grew up right here in Billsville, North Carolina. I moved to California in 1964 and currently live in a commune in the Haught-Ashbury
area," Dave replied while eyeballing my album collection. "Mind if I look at those records, man?"
"Help yourself. What possessed you to build your...um...time machine?"
Dave began flipping through my albums and explained, "Albert Einstein, my friend. After receiving my degree in Physics I spent a few years studying Einstein's theories. I just couldn't grasp his concepts, man. One day, a comrade of mine slipped me some acid. It was groovy, man. I was sitting in the floor staring up at a chalkboard covered with Einstein's formulas. The formulas melted together...right before my eyes, man. The answer was right there on the board. I wrote it on the back of a punch card and spent the next two weeks modifying my bus. Hey, far out, man! You have In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. I can't wait till this record comes out. I hear it's out of sight, man."
"Yes, it is. It's definitely out there." I grabbed myself another beer from Dave's cooler. "So, tell me about this device that fucks us citizens."
Dave turned his attention away from the albums and told me his rendition of what the future held for the United States. Of course, I didn't believe a word of it. However, Dave was quite the storyteller. I could tell that he had thought about it a lot. Perhaps, a bit too much. I felt that he suffered from paranoia. Dave started with the age of transition, which he defined as the years between 1980 and 2020. During that time the United States was in the process of transitioning into a paperless society. By 2020 nothing was being printed on paper anymore--including money. The environmentalists called the transition a landmark move toward saving the planet. The Library of Congress converted its entire collection to a digital format and allowed the public free access to the database. To replace money the government issued every citizen a SID card. The SID(Secure Identity and Data) card replaced the Social Security card, driver's license, credit cards, and bank cards. Money was stored as a value backed by a number in an account issued by the U.S. Treasury department. Credit and debit card account information was stored on the card along with any other bank accounts a citizen had. There was also personal identity information and medical records on the card. For security, the card featured thumbprint identification technology that prevented anyone other than the owner from using the card. The IRS embraced the SID card. The lack of physical money made it impossible to make an undocumented financial transaction. Gone were the days of being paid under the table. The SID card eliminated the need to file taxes at the end of the fiscal year. Taxes due were automatically deducted from every deposit to the card. Aside from being so convenient, one of the biggest advantages to the SID card was that crime rates dropped dramatically. Without cash, bank robberies were pointless. You could not transfer funds between SID cards without a record of whose card the money was transferred to. The only drawback to the SID was that it was small and easy to lose. If you lost the card you were screwed, since it took up to six weeks to get a replacement. The SID card eliminated hundreds of thousands of jobs in the U.S. and the millions saved in tax dollars were reappropriated to other government projects.
After numerous people were admitted to hospitals after being robbed of their SID card and their thumb, the government began working on a new system. In 2024 a man named Edward Huckster developed the ISUCK system. The ISUCK(Implantable Secure Universal Control Key)was designed to replace the SID card. Since it was implantable, it was impossible to lose. The implant was a simple outpatient procedure that took no more than ten minutes. A small incision was made in the patient's forehead and the ISUCK device was screwed onto the patients skull with a self-tapping screw. Once the incision healed, the ISUCK was visually indetectable. The ISUCK had many advantages over the SID card. It held additional information, such as criminal and driving records, and sexual orientation. The ISUCK won the hearts of Americans because of its GPS capabilities. Every five seconds, the ISUCK broadcasted an encrypted data packet containing the owner's social security number and current location accurate down to four inches. In a matter of seconds, parents could track down missing children and authorities could track down dangerous criminals. In 2027 the FDA approved and the government mandated the installation of the ISUCK device in all persons with valid social security numbers in the United States. There were no exceptions, not even for politicians. People from abroad had to carry their passport and were issued a temporary ISUCK to be worn on their wrist at all times while in U.S. territory. Computer hardware to receive and process the ISUCK data was installed at every cell phone tower in the U.S. A central data collecting center was built in Washington, D.C., to monitor and record the movement of every citizen.
The real value of the ISUCK system wasn't apparent until everyone had one and the system was fully functional. Within ten years the ISUCK revolutionized the United States. Crime rates hit an all-time low as it was virtually impossible to commit a crime without being caught. The ISUCK all but eliminated the need for a court system. Local government offices were granted access to the ISUCK databases to monitor for suspicious activities. Police and the highway patrol did not bother looking for speeders anymore. ISUCK traffic computers, which calculated the speed cars were traveling on the roads, were installed in each county. Fines were automatically deducted from speed violators' bank accounts and points were automatically added to their licenses. Passengers of speeding autos got fined as well. It was only fair; they were speeding, too. Needless to say the highway became a safer place. Illegal drug use in the U.S. disappeared as authorities used ISUCK data to track drug traffickers back to their suppliers. According to Dave, the eradication of illegal drugs in the U.S. marked the end of Rock and Roll. He said, "Rock and roll is a delicate balance of sex and drugs. Without drugs... What's the point?"
The ISUCK didn't go over without some resistance. A group of nonconformists started the "You Suck Movement" against the ISUCK. The group enjoyed very little interest and fizzled out in a short period of time. The thing was, if you did not have an ISUCK screwed into your head you could neither buy anything nor have a job. Without an ISUCK you could not have money.
It wasn't long before retailers and employers realized the value of the ISUCK. Permission was granted to retailers and employers to utilize the ISUCK technology at their facilities provided they conformed to the ISUCK Privacy Act. The privacy act made it illegal for personal data to be shared with anyone, which made Americans even more confident in the system. Unfortunately, the act made no mention of not using the data for personal gains.
Retailers used the ISUCK data to track people's purchases for promotional purposes. With the data, retailers were able to offer discounts to regular customers and identify alcoholics and perverts. Shoplifting increased initially but trickled down to nothing as retailers installed more security cameras and hired people to constantly monitor the store. Whenever a shoplifter was spotted in the act, he or she was identified by their ISUCK data and automatically billed for the item plus a $500 penalty. If the thief didn't have enough money in his or her account to cover the penalty, his account balance went negative. The thief would not have any money to spend until the penalty had been deducted in full. Anyone found in a retail store without a ISUCK device--not emitting the ISUCK signal--was arrested under suspicion of terrorism.
Employers installed ISUCK equipment at their facilities initially for safety and time keeping purposes. The ISUCK employee control system enabled employers to track people on the job. Time clocks were no longer necessary. Employees were on the clock as long as they were in their working areas. While in the restroom, break room, or out of their work area employees were off the clock. The system alerted management when an employee was in an area where he or she did not belong, or if the employee had not moved in a pre-determined time. Work attendance improved as employers were able to monitor employees who called in sick to make sure they were at home in bed. Employers frequently checked up on their employees while they were not at work. The data collected was used to determine how many overtime hours could be allotted to them. They were also monitored for suspicious activities that didn't conform to the company's ethics policies. Under the watchful eye of the ISUCK system, employees had no choice but to do their best at all times.
Thanks to the ISUCK the year 2030 marked the beginning of the industrial revolution. Work ethics improved so much that the U.S. surpassed China and Japan in production and quality seven fold. Edward Huckster received the Nobel Peace Prize for his ISUCK twelve years in a row. By 2035 the U.S. could no longer keep up with production demands for exported goods. More than fifty thousand Ford and GM automobiles were shipped abroad each week. The demand for more industrial capacity sparked big changes in the U.S.
The decision was made to make a division of the United States. It was the division of the East and West. The eastern seaboard--east of the Mississippi--became known as the Industrial States. This was where all the production facilities were moved to. It was deemed more convenient to pull the industrial resources together. The move helped cut the cost of manufacturing since materials didn't have to be transported as far. Twenty-one new nuclear power plants were built and distributed evenly along the east coast to provide the immense amount of power that industry demanded.
West of the Mississippi became known as the Agricultural States. The Agricultural States became the source of all the food consumed in the United States. All the farms and prisons in the Industrial States were
relocated to the Agricultural States to make room for more industry. The farms were run entirely by prisoners, illegal immigrants, and nonconformists who opposed the ISUCK system. Farm workers in the Agricultural States were identified by their lack of an ISUCK device. Farming became the lowest job in America. It paid nothing but necessities: food, water, and shelter. Farm complexes were barricaded by chain link fences topped with razor wire. In the Industrial States farmers were constantly ridiculed. The worst fear of the American citizen was being sentenced to a life in the Agricultural States.
The Industrial States continued to grow into a lean, mean industrial machine. The machine set a real example of just how profitable a democracy can be. Other nations all over the world began adopting the ISUCK system with open arms. The paperless currency system that Edward Huckster envisioned had become a universal reality. As the years went by more changes were made to allow people to dedicate more time to working. Complicated, time consuming tasks such as preparing food were replaced by instant meals. Fast food restaurants, of course, still thrived as they always have. The FDA banned home cooking since it was the leading cause of food poisoning and heart disease. Fire officials praised the decision because stoves caused so many house fires each year. Citizens were relieved to have the burdens of cooking lifted from their shoulders. Grocery stores were replaced with stores selling prepackaged meals that heat to a perfect 88 degrees Fahrenheit by chemical reaction when the package is opened.
Many years of nearly nonexistent crime rates prompted new gun laws. Guns were never outlawed; however, possession of a gun meant intent to kill--a crime punishable by removal of the ISUCK device and a life slaving in the Agricultural States. Gun owners gladly handed over their weapons to authorities during the 24 hour grace period before the law went into effect. It should be mentioned that the law was firm and without exceptions. Authorities had to surrender their weapons, as well, once the law went into effect.
By the year 2100 the leading cause of death in the Industrial States was suicide. According to statistics an average of 337 people succumbed to suicide every day. 62 percent of the victims plummeted from the roofs of tall buildings; the rest jumped in front of buses and tractor trailers. People who tried and failed suicide attempts claimed they just couldn't take the work load or the lack of privacy anymore. The government declared this to be utter bullshit. The survivors were stripped of their ISUCK device and sentenced to life in the Agricultural States.
The Industrial states continued to remain highly profitable up to the year 2169. In 2169 an event occurred that would change the world forever. Dave told me that he had to go to 2169 to deliver a message. I asked him what the event and the message was but he refused to tell me. After that, Dave crashed in his van and I fell asleep on the couch.
The next morning I woke up and went outside. Dave was tweaking something under the hood of the bus.
"Good morning, my friend," Dave said when he saw me approaching.
"So today is the big day, huh?" I remarked sarcastically.
"I gotta make a couple of final adjustments then I'll be out of your hair. Man, I appreciate your help. Do I owe you anything for the tubes?"
"Naaa, the beer I bummed off of you last night is worth more than those old tubes. I was surprised that they still worked." I actually doubted the tubes still worked, but I didn't tell Dave that.
"Thanks, man, you're groovy. I don't have much money anyway..." Dave stopped working and looked at me. His eyes lit up like he had just had an idea. "Why don't you come with me, man. I'll show you the event that changed the world forever."
"Me? I don't know. I've never been to the future before."
"Come on. It's the chance of a lifetime. After this trip I am retiring the bus. I promise to have you back here by now, man."
I didn't have anything better to do so I took Dave up on his offer. I figured we'd never get out of the driveway, anyway. Boy, was I wrong. After Dave finished his adjustments, we got in the bus. Dave flipped some switches and set some dials. After checking the settings twice, he pulled out the choke, turned the ignition switch and the bus came to life. The bus coughed and sputtered while a pungent cloud of blue smoke formed around it. Dave looked at me, grinned, and said, "You ready, man?"
"Turn her loose," I replied.
Dave grabbed his sunglasses from the dash and put them on. Then he pushed in the choke and slapped down a big red mushroom head button mounted on top of the dashboard. We were instantly thrusted back into our seats. The view from the windshield turned into a bright white blur. The hands on the old dashboard clock whizzed like a window fan. After the bus leveled off, Dave looked at me and said, "You wanna beer, man?"
"Didn't we drink them all last night?"
"I rode to the convenience store and picked up a case before you woke up."
"In that case, sure."
Dave reached behind the seat, opened the cooler, and fetched two ice cold
Pabst Blue Ribbon beers. Unlike the Budweisers from the night before, these beers didn't have pull tabs. I popped open my beer and took a swig. "How long before we get there?" I asked Dave.
"Oh...not long. Those tubes you gave me are hot!"
After a while a red light began flashing on the dash. "We have arrived at our destination," Dave said, and depressed the bus's brake pedal with his foot. The bus came to a stop at the top of a grassy hill with a wide open view. There was a busy sixteen lane highway with factories on either side as far as I could see. Clouds of smoke rolled from stacks on many of the buildings. We got out and stood in front of the bus. A steady stream of tractor trailers flowed into and out of the industrial sites. The scene reminded me of that nasty colony of carpenter ants in my back yard that keep coming back year after year. It was unbearably hot. It felt like it was at least a hundred and ten degrees outside. "Where are we?" I asked Dave.
"Michigan. This is what is known as 'Computer Parts Valley.' They make nothing but computer parts in those mills, man."
Dave checked his watch. "Any moment now, my friend."
All the sudden the traffic on the highway came to a halt. Power lines along the sides of the highway fell, arcing, to the ground. Some of the trucks on the highway caught fire.
"What the hell is going on, Dave?" I asked, astonished.
"You're witnessing the results of the most powerful solar storm to date." Dave replied calmly.
"A solar storm?"
"Yeah, man, a massive fucking explosion in the sun's atmosphere just sent us a wave of electromagnetic radiation. Not groovy, man. It's a wave more powerful than the earth's atmosphere could hold back. The energy was inducted into electronic devices and destroyed them. Manmade electrical devices were not designed to handle that much electrical energy at once. It's kind of like everything electronic just got struck by lightning, man. The communication and data networks that these people have come to depend on are now dead."
People had begun evacuating the factories. "There was no warning?" I said in disbelief.
"Mother nature has been warning of this event for many years. The biggest solar storm on record before this one occurred in 1859. It shorted out telegraph wires and started fires across the U.S. and Europe. There have been smaller storms since then, man. In 1989 a solar storm brought down the Canadian power grid. Numerous communication satellites have been taken out by similar storms since then."
Our conversation was interrupted by a loud boom. "Shit! Look over there!" I shouted. A large tank beside one of the factories exploded, sending flames high into the air. The flaming liquid contents of the tank flowed across a parking lot filled with cars. Dave looked in the direction of the blaze but remained calm. The people who had evacuated the factories stood in perfect rows in the parking lots, watching helplessly as the fires spread. The hoods were up on many of the vehicles on the highway.
"What will those people do?"
"What can they do?" Dave replied calmly. "They lost power and all communications. They lost the ISUCK system which stripped everyone of their identities and finances. These people are helpless without their machines. No one alive today can remember not being dependant on man's creations. I'm afraid there isn't any hope for these people, my friend."
"How can you be so calm? There has to be something we can do...the time machine...the time machine! We'll just go back in time and fix the problem...or at least warn them."
"I tried that. Look at me, man. Why the fuck would they listen to a guy like me? I tried to eliminate the ISUCK system. I went back and assassinated Edward Huckster before he developed it. When I came back to the future the world wasn't fit for a cockroach to live on."
"Huh?"
"Nuclear war, my friend. No matter what I tried the world ended in a worldwide nuclear war. The ISUCK brought nations together and prevented the war. To prevent the war I had to go back and assassinate myself before I assassinated Edward Huckster. That was fucked up, man... ever looked at yourself through a rifle scope and pulled the trigger?"
"They will rebuild, right? We can bring computers from a few days ago with the time machine. Help them get their data back!"
"It's like I told you before. Semiconductors can't survive the trip in the bus, man. We could bring computers but they wouldn't work when we got them here. If they rebuild they will eventually suffer the same fate. Don't you see it, man? Without the machines there cannot be a worldwide nuclear war. Besides, it's too late, my friend. Fifty miles down the road is one of those new nuclear power plants I told you about. The controls were lost in the solar storm. The reactor is now burning out of control."
"Holy fucking shit! A nuclear explosion?"
"Unfortunately, it's more drawn out than that. There will be no explosion. The fuel assembly in the reactor will reach the melting point and eventually melt it's way out of the reactor and release it's deadly radiation to the environment. In the old days this meltdown would have been contained. Not with these new reactors. The industrial trend has been to cut as many corners as possible to maximize profits. Investors can't see past the bottom line. The greater the profit margin, the greater the chance of an investment. It's sad but it's the way fucking industry works nowadays, man. The containment shell was omitted from the design of the power plants to enhance profitability. The investors don't give a shit, man. They own the places. They don't live there."
"What about the rest of the world?"
"This is just the first of several massive solar storms that will occur over the next few weeks."
"How do you know all of this?"
Dave looked in the direction of the bus, "I've been here before, my friend. Like I said, I had to come back to deliver a message."
"Well, don't you think it's a bit late for that now?"
"No my friend, we're right on time. Hop in the bus."
We got in the bus and Dave started setting the dials and switches on the dash.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"To the Agricultural States, my friend. I must release the prisoners and inform them of this catastrophic event."
"I don't understand."
"The society that shunned the people of the Agricultural States also gave them a special gift."
"What's that?" I asked, confused.
"They gave them the ability to live without the machines."
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